I feel like I have been in a winter season for a while now. Having Eliza wrecked me in a way that I didn't expect. These hormones and emotions have felt uncontrollable at times. I have uncertainty about everything --> my calling, my giftings, my likes, my wants... heck even my salvation at times!
But I believe that God has shown me that this season is not a wasted season.
Yesterday I wrote about the importance of us homemakers being still. The importance of slowing down and paying attention to what our needs actually are. Today I am talking about what to do once you discover what your needs are. And that is to USE YOUR VOICE.
In Shauna Niequist’s book Present Over Perfect she talks about how men always take care of their needs. If they are hungry, they eat. If they are thirsty, they drink. If they are tired, they nap. But women on the other hand are not very good at this. We just keep shoving our needs down down down and eventually we snap! I hear moms say all the time “I haven’t bathed in a week. I haven’t eaten anything today. I just need a second to breathe.” Yikes. We know what we need but we feel like we can’t get it.
When I first started this blog in 2013, I knew that I wanted to utilize the word “Headquarters,” because let’s face it, it’s punny. And funny. So I guess that would be pfunny? And we have always called our home our Headquarters.
Being a bit Type A, I knew I needed to use an H-word to go along with it. (Remember how all of my kids’ names start with E’s?) ‘Humble’ sounded too religious. ‘Honest’ didn’t provide the alliteration I was hoping for. ‘Hilarious’ set this blog up for disappointing the readers, since many times it’s serious. ‘Homey’ sounded a bit “urban.” So I settled with the word Happy. And I love Happy because I love cheeriness, and frankly, when I think of our home, I want it to evoke (not invoke, for all your grammar nerds) feelings of happiness.
Trice and I had an amazing vision retreat this year. We found this quaint little cabin in the middle of the woods. Literally. Like we had to park our car and drive a golf cart to get to the cabin. Imagine earthy green surroundings, the warm sun shining down, peace and quiet all around... and a crying baby. Haha yes. We brought the little chunk with us. She needs me, I can't get enough of her, so with us she came! Needless to say, our retreat wasn't as romantic or organized as previous retreats, but we enjoyed hanging with our peanut and really just dreaming together for our family.
I am 8 weeks postpartum today, and this is what I look like. I still have a nice sized baby bump, I am still holding on to about 15 extra pounds, and I still can’t wear many of my pre-pregnancy clothes. In fact, I was only just recently able to start wearing my wedding rings again!
Yesterday was a really hard day.
My baby didn’t sleep the night before, so I was awake from 2am on with a short catnap here and there. She was very fussy and cried ALL DAY. My check engine light came on. I was short on patience and kindness with my older two. Oh, and did I mention that my husband is gone?
If you didn't know this about me, I am an extroverted introvert... meaning that I can manage pretty well in a room full of people, but I need my alone time. In fact, I crave alone time. I know I know. I seem outgoing and bubbly - and that is true to a certain degree. But ever since I could remember, I have always needed me time.
Bravery. Courage. Holy Confidence. Valor. Warrior.
These are the words that the Lord has weaved in and out of our life in 2015.
The year started with so much promise. We were so excited to see what the Lord had in store for us this year. We went on our Vision Retreat, and wrote out a plan and expected the Lord to help us meet every goal and fulfill every plan that we had made for the year.
But then the attacks started...
Good morning, sweet readers! I am currently sipping on a cup of hot coffee in Starbucks across from the most handsome man in all the land (none other than my Trice!), and it dawned on me. I am totally THAT person. The Starbucks is freezing, so I had no choice but to grab my son's cowboy blanket out of the car and wrap it around me while I write. It's complete with a cowboy hat hood and some tassels, so I am fitting right in here in Texas ;) But seriously. I am officially THAT mom. I drive a minivan, listen to more kid music than non-kid music and use my son's blanket in public. Five years ago I would have totally judged me. But today, I am loving it. I am loving right where I am at. I love that my kids have helped me to be a little more undignified and care a little less about propriety and the opinions of others. I love how free and confident my kids are, and I am learning to live a little more freely and confidently as well. So thank you Emerson and Etta Jayne for making me be THAT MOM! :)
Hello again and Happy Thursday!
I hope that if you had a chance to read yesterday's post, that you were encouraged to love the lost better. Sometimes I get so focused on me me me, my growth, my relationship with the Lord, my stuff that I forget that all that love and goodness God has poured out in my life is not for me to keep but to share with others! My prayer for the last half of 2015 is that God would awaken our hearts to love the lost, share the Gospel of Jesus Christ and see more and more people give their lives to Him.
Hello sweet friends! We are back in Texas after a fun time in Louisiana visiting family and working in New Orleans. My fingers have been yeeeearning for the keyboard, and I finally have a little sliver of time to myself this afternoon to share what has been on my heart!
Since the last time I wrote, there have been MANY things that have happened in the political sphere that have been tough for Christians, particularly gay marriage being legalized nationwide.
My number one question since that ruling has been, "Lord, how do I respond?" Do I speak out? Do I write a post about Biblical marriage? Should I state my case and defend my beliefs? Should I write about homosexuality or gender identity? Do I just not write anything at all?
As I have mulled over this in my mind, asking God if there is anything He wants me to say, I have heard again and again God asking me this one simple question:
How have you loved today?
It's no secret that I'm a Christian. I talk about God a lot here on my blog, but I realized I have never really shared WHY I am a Christian. My heart is that you get a glimpse into why I have chosen to love and serve the God of the Bible. It's not just because I feel like it's the "right thing to do." It's not because I'm old-fashioned. But it's because God has lovingly pursued me and been so intimately involved in my life, that I couldn't help but give my life to Him.
Have you ever had a season where you felt like you were drowning? Where you felt like you completely lost your footing? Where life seemed confusing and you began to question everything you were doing? That is the season I have been in for the last 8 weeks. Needless to say, this "happy little headquarters" hasn't been so happy!
Since our Vision Retreat, we have had a ridiculous amount of obstacles head our way. And I’m not one to blame the devil for every bad thing that happens in life… but what’s been happening sure makes me wonder if he’s got anything to do with it! We’ve had tough times in our finances and tough times in our health, but the worst thing for me has been what’s been going on up in this brain of mine.
Indecisiveness has plagued me. Every time I sit down to write, I question what I’m writing. Every time I tell my kids no about something, I question if that was the right choice. And lately, every time I feel like I have a firm stance on a social issue, I question if that’s the right stance.
Right now I'm supposed to be in Louisiana, enjoying a surprise visit to my sister's house for her birthday. Everything was coming together so perfectly. Flights were on sale for super cheap, we were able to (secretly) get my sister's work schedule changed, my kiddos were covered, and my aunt even found a big enough box for me to jump out of -- because hello, my love language is cheesiness! I was praising the Lord because everything was just working out so smoothly and perfectly!
I just finished a 2 week fast from makeup. And in fact, I guess it was so freeing because I'm well into week 3 and still haven't worn a single drop of makeup! No concealer, no powder, no mascara... not even tinted lip balm!
Is your soul weary? Are you exhausted and worn-out? Are you tired of trying to live up to outlandish ideals? Is your quest for perfection causing burnout? Are you constantly fighting back tears because you are just so overwhelmed?
Can I encourage you? Just rest.
Rest.
Breathe.
Just be for a little while instead of constantly trying to do.
It's January 8th. The clock reads 7:45pm. Unbelievable. Do I actually have 1 hour and 15 minutes to myself before getting ready for bed? Am I in a dream? The kids are bathed, oiled up, teeth brushed and flossed and all tucked in their beds. Trice is working a late gig in Dallas. The kitchen is clean. The living room is tidied. The laundry is folded and put away. And I’m already in my jammies. Ahhhhhhhhh. Peace. Quiet. Me time. Pure bliss.
Happy Saturday! We had a wild a crazy last few weeks as we had a very special one year old birthday party (which I cannot wait to post about!) and we had family in town. I feel like I have been a little MIA from life in general! I am finally getting my bearings back, and Trice and I are making a plan for the rest of the year. Have you noticed that when you don't plan out your days, you end up sort of all over the place? That's why I feel like it is so important to have goals that you set for yourself and your family each day, week, month and year. But we are terrible at this. So we are setting a goal to be better at setting goals... Wish us luck! Ha ha.
We have had so much fun so far doing random acts of joy this month!
One of the things I feel like God is showing me is how much He loves to shower His love on us. But because God does not have actual hands and feet here on this earth, He uses PEOPLE to be His hands and feet. Isn't it neat that God chose to partner with PEOPLE to show His love? What an exciting opportunity :) Realizing this really makes me want to steward His call on my life so very well. My prayer is that people are drawn to and wooed by their loving Father through these random acts of joy. And that the hopeless will be given hope. And that the lonely will know that they are noticed and not alone. And that the frazzled person will get the fresh breath of air that they need. And that the depressed hearts will turn to JOY!
Happy November everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful October, and I hope the Fall weather is bringing warmth and joy to your heart!
If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you know that I did a 31-day challenge to celebrate my birthday last month! The challenge was to find something to celebrate each day of the month, and to fully embrace it and be thankful for it. I am usually not quick to do any sort of 31-day challenge or to overpost about my birthday, but this year was different.
I am completely out of my comfort zone. What comes naturally to me is studying and reading and growing intellectually. Never before have I had to run a household. Never before have I had to take care of children. Never before have I had to clean a house and do a million little chores. Never before have I had to meal plan and grocery shop and make decisions about vaccines and be awakened in the middle of the night for several months at a time. Never before have I had to give myself selflessly in the bedroom. Never before have I been so stripped of time to myself.
I always viewed the Proverbs 31 woman as a recipe for failure, so I basically wrote her off as being "an impossible goal" to attain. But through this study, the Lord really showed me that He is not asking me to be perfect. He has instead placed a guide before me and a goal to work toward, and that this is something that is to be worked toward through the duration of a lifetime. Too many times as women we write off the Proverbs 31 woman, but knowing that ALL Scripture is God-breathed, I believe this is something that God really wants us to look at! And like I said before, perfection is not the goal! The goal is to become more and more like Christ little by little, day by day.
So God has done something very cool in my heart the last couple of weeks! To be real, for the longest time I viewed my family as a hindrance to the calling that God put on my life. I wanted to be on the front lines of fighting human trafficking and traveling around the world with Trice as missionaries for Jesus. With “Achiever” as my #1 strength, my bucket list and to-do list were ever growing. After having Emerson, I tried to set aside my dreams for a little while, and I thought I was doing a good job… and then I had Etta Jayne! Having a new baby again comes along with no me-time whatsoever; and having two kids means less energy and time that I have to pursue my dreams and visions. The last few months, I lay in bed at night so frustrated because I kept waiting for my BIG moment, and it seemed that my family just kept. getting. in. my. way! I know it sounds awful, but hey, I’m just being real!
Well, happy 2014 to you and your families!! After having the baby, I had a few super busy weeks, so I didn’t get a chance to blog. And then we did a 21-day fast with our church in January and we fasted from social media… so thus no blogging!
But I’m back! I wanted to write about something that has been on my heart lately. You may read this post and scratch your head and think, “What in the world is she talking about?” This may not apply to you at all. But it applies to me and I felt like I was supposed to write about this so here goes!
Trice and I have something super special. I am more in love with him today than I was yesterday, but I’m not going to say it has all been smooth sailing. In the beginning, people would say, “Y’all are so in love with each other — it’s just because it’s the newlywed phase.” Almost as if it would be inevitable that within a matter of time and life experience we would grow to despise one another. SO encouraging, right? And then some time went by. I studied my butt off in my last year of college. And then I got pregnant unexpectedly (which by the way, can you say BEST surprise EVER?). And then we bought a house. And then we moved again. And again! And now almost four years later, I don’t think anyone can say that we are so in love with each other “just because we are newlyweds.” We have gone through a LOT in our marriage thus far, and we are still in love.
Once you realize what Jesus rescued you from, and once you realize the weight of your own sin, it makes it a little harder to cast judgment on another. For even if my sin seems “trivial,” the cost of that sin is just as grave: Jesus’ very life.